Monday, January 31, 2005


An Angel in a pink dress. I am a lucky, lucky guy. Posted by Hello

Hangin' with the boys in Greece, July 2003. The part of the island where we stayed was the smelliest, noisiest, most disgusting place I have ever been. Bruce (the guy seated on the left) ended up with a severe eye infection from swimming in the pool. Um....GROSS. Still, it was our last hurrah as a group, and I wouldn't change it. Posted by Hello

Weather Forecast...

...for Saturday, Feb 5th (the day of the party of the year, my bachelor party) - Sunny, 45 degrees F. NICE! We'll see if it really happens....

Just ate a piece of whole wheat matzo....I have to admit, it is some yummy shit. I don't even put anything on it - I just like it straight up. Just like my women. I mean vodka. Whatever.

I am really looking forward to this upcoming week or two - there's the bachelor party, then the week before the wedding is gonna be BUSY, but supremely fun to hang with all of my friends. Then, I think there is a little something planned for Sat Feb 12th....I'll have to check my schedule to be sure. Then we are off to sunny Arizona for a week of carefree fun. Believe me, I definitely need the time off, been working straight through since September. You know, it is inhuman how little vacation time we get in this country. In the UK, my colleagues get something like 6-8 weeks off a year. I get off 2. TWO WEEKS OFF!!! I think we need to take more time to smell the flowers or something. But I digress...

I have to say, there is some shit music on the radio these days. At work, we have Howard Stern on in the morning to keep ourselves laughing. Then, at around 10:30-11am, 92.3 K-Rock turns to SHIT. What do I hear 900 times a day??? Green Day's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams." I HATE THAT SONG. Didn't hate it at first, although I never particularly liked it....but now, I despise it. Yet, everytime I walk back where the radio is, VOILA, its on. OK, so say we change the station to 95.5 PLJ - which my boss often does, as he isn't into the hard stuff on K-Rock. So, what do I hear 8 billion times on PLJ??? John Mayer singing "Daughters." GOD DAMN IT!!!!!! I used to like that song, but now....I would rather pierce my eardrums with hot pokers than ever have to hear it again. Perhaps I should recommend switching to Z-100 so we could hear Jessica Simpson's god-fucking-awful "voice" all day long. I have heard dogs howling their final death knell which sounded more melodic than this girl. *SIGH* What would I do without my iPod???

Well, methinks that is all for today my kiddies. Until tomorrow....

See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya...

-B

Sunday, January 30, 2005


Front row at a DMB show the day before my birthday in 2001. Best. Show. Ever. Posted by Hello

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Mmmmmmmexican!

What a long and fulfilling day! We started off having to work for a couple of hours this morning. Not much exciting going on there, a couple of vomitting cats, an anorexic dog, and a partridge in a pear tree. Then we headed over to the gym for 30 minutes on the bike/arm thingy and 10 minutes on the stairmaster. After peeling off my sweat-soaked clothing and hitting the showers, Angela and I headed to JFK Airport to meet up with her Mom and Step-dad Nick on their change-over from the UK to Florida. We spent a nice couple of hours chatting and catching up. We also scored an entire suitcase of stuff!! The suitcase contained some wedding gifts (i.e. our new posh cutlery set, a serving set, some money, cards, etc etc), all super great stuff. Even better...we got a bunch of British products!!! Both Angela and I miss many many UK items, and getting a suitcase full of stuff is worth more than gold to us. We got some REAL BRITISH crumpets (these phony crumpets they sell at Trader Joe's do NOT compare!), Vimto (it is concentrated grapey-currant juice that she likes but makes me GAG), amongst other things. How awesome!!! Then, we headed home after Mum and Nick hopped a plane to sunny FLA, took a short nap, then headed out again to dinner with Mom and Marty - we went to Pancho's Cantina (again), for a delightful Mexican meal. This place is the best, they give you all-you-can-eat warm nacho chips (both regular AND blue!) and fresh salsa, and it is so good that by the time the food gets to you, you have very little room left in your nacho-filled stomach for your meal. I did manage to squeeze in my grilled salmon dish somehow....when 4 of my friends come to visit this coming Friday, I am intending to take them to Pancho's, so I had to make sure the food was still up to par. So......Michelle, Rachel, Andy and Gaz...thumbs up, we are headin' to Mexico for an evening.
After dinner, we had to do a little food shopping. Now, the plan was to "run in" to Stop N' Shop for some sliced turkey, bread, yogurt and apples for lunch and snacks. No problem. So someone PLEASE tell me how the hell we managed to spend $86?!?!? This ALWAYS happens when we "run in" for a few things....cuz we find a few MORE things. "Oh I forgot we also need toilet paper, Whole Wheat Matzos (yes I am serious), orange juice and pickled pig rectum (no, not serious)." Ah well, that's life. Gotta eat. And wipe your ass....
Now I am home, just finished watching "Surreal Life" (DAMN that Adrianne chick is smokin' hot!) and "Strange Love" (it blows, but I just love having Flava on my TV screen), am now in the middle of "Celebrity Fit Club" - its a show where "celebrities" (including the likes of Daniel Baldwin, Biz Markie and Wendy the Snapple Lady) are trying to lose weight. Its pretty funny watching them all bicker and argue, etc. But it is missing something....I can't figure out exactly what. However, seeing these big ol' semi-celebs trying to drop some weight (even though they continue to eat shit food and don't exercise), and then actually seem disappointed when they don't lose anything at the weigh-ins....it makes me feel better about my own struggle with weight loss. And Biz Markie rules...
Well, thats about all for tonight, as my good buddy Jared says...."I feel the need to be horizontal."

For shizzle,

-B

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Super Bowl Update...

NY JETS WIN!!!! Final score, Jets 52 - Packers 10, behind the MVP performance by Chad Pennington (377 yards, 4TD's). Ah if only this were true......

This man dragged me out in front of 120 of my classmates, pulled out some weird swiss implement of torture, and sliced my left forearm, just to see if my clotting factors were working appropriately. DAMN HIM!!! At least I got a swiss chocolate bar for my trouble. And I learned how to pronounce the word "protein" in swiss.....(sounds like "Pro-TAIN"). Ah the good ol' days.... Posted by Hello

Dave and Trey, kickin' it acoustic style. Yes, folks, I was actually there to witness this event! Hollaaaaaaa! Posted by Hello

Long after my blue-bunny transformation, I somehow grew a goatee, some strage pink eye glasses, and became a blonde-haired horse creature. Gotta love genetics. Posted by Hello

The REAL Super Bowl!

Screw all this Eagles/Patriots talk. The real Super Bowl is goin on right here in my apartment. That's right folks, on my very own Playstation 2, on ESPN 2K5, the REAL Super Bowl features the Green Bay Packers vs. The Incredible....the Incomperable.....the Improbable.....NEW YORK JETS!! (Guess which team I am controlling.....) Yes, this should be one hell of a game. The Jets are an amazing 18-0, behind the arm of Chad Pennington, the legs of Curtis Martin, the hands of Wayne Chrebet (Hofstra REPRESENT baby!)....and the leg of 6'11 field goal kicker Flavor Flav (gotta love the "Create Player" function!). I have a feeling we might win this one.
As I write this, it is exactly 1 week til my bachelor (aka stag) party and 2 weeks til I am a married man. Who the hell ever thought I would get hitched??? I never thought I could settle down, seeing as how I am a sexy-ass bitch-ass pimp-ass player. However, my little lady managed to tame this stallion into a proper presentable horse. Luckily, she hasn't gelded me as of yet.....(for those non-vets reading, that means I get to keep my balls). I am a lucky, lucky man indeed.
Well, I suppose I better stop procrastinating and get on with this Super Bowl. I will keep you all updated as to the score (since, unfortunately, it won't be on ESPN as it should be). LETS GO JETS!

Out like trout,

-B

Friday, January 28, 2005

Tired....

I am really tired tonight - long day at work, and managed to drag my fat ass to the gym afterwards. Therefore, I am gonna relax in front of the TV rather than spend time writing in my blog. However, I was just browsing through some old documents, and I came across an article I wrote for my vet school website back at the end of vet school in 2003. As I am on the verge of beginning a new phase of my life (i.e. getting married in 2 weeks), I found it very interesting to go back in time a bit to see what I was feeling as I was about to begin my life as a full fledged vet. It all seemed so glamorous and impressive at the time. Now, it is just what I do for a living. Don't get me wrong, I love it...but its a job. At the time I wrote the following article, becoming a vet seemed like achieving the impossible dream. I will cut and paste it exactly as it was written, a lot of things will make no sense to many readers (as some of it discusses things particular to our school, our class, etc), but I haven't got the energy to edit it, and I think if I did, it would lose some of its charm. Give it a read, hopefully you will at least find it amusing!!!

The Final Countdown

Off into the Sunset…

May 10th, 2003. 9pm. As the final curtain closes on this year’s Final Year Review, it starts to hit me - Vet School is almost over. How did I get here? Where did the last five years go? I began to get nostalgic. Remembering my first journey over to the UK and how scary that was (it was my first trip outside of the US ever). Walking in to Clandon House (which many of you won’t have ever experienced, but those who have know exactly what I mean) for the first time, and wanting to jump on the next flight home. Finally meeting some of my classmates, and starting to settle in at the pub that first night. Man, how time flies.
I sat at dinner the other night with a few of my friends/classmates and we had a good long chat about the good ol’ days – they seem SO long ago, yet almost like yesterday. It is really difficult to imagine my life without these people in it. I’m not a sentimental man, but DAMN its gonna be hard. You don’t realise it much at the time, but in retrospect, you go through so much together – not only the stresses of every day life as a vet student, but personal non-vet related crises too. When you are so far from home, and your family is so far away, your friends become your family. After becoming so close to everyone, going back home with the knowledge that you won’t be seeing people near as often (in fact, let’s be honest, some people I will probably never see again) is a very painful prospect indeed.
The last few months have been a hell of a journey. Starting from Christmas 2002, I went home, took (and passed! YAY!) the American Boards, came back to the UK, started revising for finals, got them out of the way, then promptly started my elective. We had three weeks of teaching, then off home for Easter. Coming back here was probably as hard as it has ever been as I have had to “abandon” my British girlfriend back in NY to work and wait for me for 3 months. Emotional doesn’t describe it. To top the whole issue off, I was stuck in the f**king airport for 7.5 hours because of a delay due to “engine problems.” WHAT!? Engine problems?!?!?! After all of these 5 years and 30 trans-atlantic voyages, I figured that this was it. I would never actually become a vet because this plane was gonna go down, I was gonna die. But I digress.
Now I am actually supposed to be doing a project, but don’t know where to start writing it, and I have pretty much NO data to write about. Oh, and it’s due in about three weeks. Piece of cake, baby.
After our elective exams (and the “May” Ball), we are off to Greece together as a year. It’s gonna be great, our last big thing together as a year. Of course, in order to keep the trip as cheap as possible, we are flying at something like 3am out of East Midlands airport….But I digress.
Along comes graduation. In July. End of July. Could they drag this out a little bit longer perhaps??? Anyway, let me tell you something about graduation. We get this little packet in our pigeon holes to tell us all about this glorious ceremony. You are allowed 2 “priority” guests with potentially 2 “alternate” guests or something ridiculous like that. Great, so my family flies over here 3500 miles to see me graduate, and only 2 can come in. Superb.
Next little piece of paper in the packet is one from some professional photography place. For the mere price of 146 quid, you can have some pictures taken of you and your “family” (i.e. 2 priority guests), and they throw in a “frame” (probably cardboard) for free. Oh yeah, and to send it to you in the US, it only costs an additional 25 quid. You know what I think?? Professional photography can bite me, I’ll have my dad bring along the ol’ digital camera and the video camera, and we’ll get our own lovely pictures for FREE. Sorted.
Next piece of paper in the packet describes a “catered” lunch at the venue for the bargain price of 10 pounds per person. I wonder if catered means the same little disgusting sandwiches, cold chicken wings, bowls of stale crisps and small pitchers of Orange Juice that they have been providing us at “catered” events since first year. The final insult was that in order to wear one of those posh black robe things for graduation, you had to pay 30 pounds to rent it for the day. 30 pounds. Like I haven’t paid enough over the last 5 years. One of my buddies said, “For that much money, those f**king things better be laced with gold. We should all just go buy some black sheets at tesco and engrave ‘F**K YOU RVC!’ on the back of them.” I doubt that would go over well, but point taken. Oh, and lest I forget the nominal fee of 240 pounds to become a member of the esteemed RCVS - A drop in the ocean to those (like myself) who are so far in debt that a song was inspired by our plight (see “American Money”, FYR, 2003).
After this wonderfully expensive day, we have the Graduation Ball to look forward to, and then we go our separate ways. And that, my friends, is all she wrote. I will fly home, and a week and a half later I will start working. Yes, that’s right, in 1.5 weeks you go from student to full fledged vet, and nothing will be able to prepare us for that first day/week/month. Do I feel prepared for this responsibility??? Hell no. Not that it is the RVC’s fault; I don’t think there is anything that can prepare you for this sort of thing. The best thing you can do is be sure that you take a job that is supportive of new graduates, as you will need to be surrounded by people who are going to have your back when you inevitably screw up over your first few months. Some people look for the job where they can make the most money. Me, I took the first job I interviewed at because the senior partner was the nicest man I have ever met, he made me feel like I was important, intelligent and WANTED. The monetary aspect is competitive, sure, but what was most important to me was the atmosphere of the clinic. I spent some time, took it all in, and realised that it was definitely the place for me. So that is my advice to you – yes, money is nice (especially when you have to pay back a hundred zillion billion dollars [hell, it may as well be]), but the support you are offered over your first six months in practice is worth a hell of a lot more.
Here I sit, on the brink of going home for good. What will I miss most about the UK? Pubs. Good beer. Beautiful scenery. History everywhere you go. The lovely people (especially compared to your average New Yorker!) and general attitude of this country. Driving on the wrong side of the road. Seeing movies at the cinema after they have already come out on video back home. Good friends in close proximity. Did I mention good beer?
I find myself conflicted; I am ecstatic to finally be achieving this goal that I have had for so many years, but at the same time terribly sad for everything that you lose once you graduate – closeness with friends, lack of real responsibility, the excuse to remain a “kid”, FREE TIME – all of it will fade soon after graduation. Like Billy Joel (a fellow New Yorker) says in one of his songs, “This is the time to remember, ‘Cause it will not last forever. These are the days to hold on to, ‘Cause we won’t although we’ll want to.” Amen my brother. I’m gonna try my hardest to enjoy these last couple of months – appreciate being with my friends, and appreciate several nice cold pints of Guinness. As I stride off into the sunset, I have no regrets…only gratitude.


Well, it seems that most of what I predicted has come true - life without the constant communication with many of my close friends has been difficult, and I miss them (and the UK) every day. I am so thankful to have had these times with these people, and I honestly feel that I am a better person (and a better vet!) for having known them. The reason I am even bothering to post this article is because of my impending nuptials...around 20 people from my class of 118 are making the trek from around the world to come and see me. That is incredible to me, that so many people would do that. I have the best friends in the world, I love all of them so god damn much, and like I said in my final statement in the article, "As I stride off into the sunset, I have no regrets...only gratitude."

Peace,

-B

If anyone is looking for a late christmas gift or an early wedding gift, here's the one - a FLAVOR FLAV clock to wear around my neck!!!  Posted by Hello

YEAHHHHHHHH BOYEEEEEEEEE! FLAVOR FLAV! I love this guy!!! Now if I could only find him to invite him to my bachelor party... Posted by Hello

Thursday, January 27, 2005


This thing fell off a dog a few weeks ago. turns out it is a flea larva. Photo taken with my cell phone camera through the microscope eyepiece. Not bad! Posted by Hello

My two boys "hunting"...ah, the life of a cat. Posted by Hello

And so it goes...

Today had its ups and downs. I worked all day, and the day started off well - got through surgery quickly, the boss made us all happy by informing us of his plans to highly upgrade the practice, and all was well. By the evening, one of the nicest dogs ever (owned by one of my co-workers) became gravely ill and had to be put to sleep. I couldn't concentrate on anything else for the rest of the night, luckily appointments were light. I won't sit and harp on the subject, but it made me sad. Still am sad. And so it goes...

I am currently enjoying a nice bowl of Farina. Does anyone out there like the stuff?? For those of you who aren't familiar with it, it is a cream of wheat-type hot cereal. I enjoy mine with a bit of margarine and salt. Some people like theirs with sugar. Angela likens it to wallpaper paste. Hey, whatever works. MMMMMMMMMM.....Farina.

Well, its time for ER - this season has sucked my balls so far, but I continue to watch in the hopes that it will pick up a bit sometime. Let's hope tonight is the night.

Til we meet again,

-B

Howard

I am a big fan of Howard Stern - I watch his E! show every night, and listen to him in the mornings when I wake up and on my way to work. I am, as I write this, in the middle of watching the show, and Chyna Doll is on. This chick is WACKED the FUCK out! She is on the new season of "Surreal Life," and she is just one creepy bitch. Her home made porno tape recently hit stores, and I hear it is absolutely nauseating. Anyway, she is on the show now, and she is clearly WRECKED, incoherent, and trying to sing. It's fantastic television! I love this shit......See pics below!

Here's a group photo of most of my year during our final year in vet school (taken June 2003). Love you guys. Posted by Hello

Wednesday, January 26, 2005


The Genetic Mutant, Chyna Doll. Is it a girl? Is it a guy? Your guess is as good as mine... Posted by Hello

Good lord... Posted by Hello

Like a Virgin...

There is a first time for everything - and this is the first attempt I have made to start any sort of webpage/blog. I guess I always held off on doing so because I questioned whether or not anyone actually gave a shit about what went on in my life...and then I realized that not many people do (I don't blame them - what is so interesting about me, eh?), but why not ramble on anyway. Seems like an interesting waste of time. Besides, I could always be surprised. People seem to like "The Real World" and what the hell is so interesting about that???

So I think today I will discuss my recently adopted fanaticism with Flavor Flav. Ever since watching "The Surreal Life" on VH1, I can't get enough of this fucking guy. I mean, he is like 45 years old, and still running around screaming like an 18 yr old. Still wearing that clock around his neck, wearing the viking helmet and bizarre sunglasses. Jumping around shouting "FLAVOR FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAV!!!!!!!!" for no particular reason. Fathering 18 kids by 18 different women (and paying no child support...and getting away with it!). Obsessed with shagging an old ugly white girl who is 2 feet taller than him. How can you NOT love him??? I do admit, however, his new show "Strange Love" blows goats....regardless, I think I will go download his ringtone from VH1.com right now...

More next time....

-B

Mmmmmm....Guinness. Posted by Hello

Me, in my slimmer days. Did I mention that I started life as a blue rabbit-like creature? Posted by Hello

My better half and I, September 2004 - our "Engagement Portrait." Posted by Hello