Bacheloritis

As the time nears for my bachelor party, I cannot help but wonder what my best man Jared has planned. I know for a fact that another of my groomsmen (and one of my best buds) Lenny has been instrumental in the planning as well, and everytime I see him, he tells me how awesome the night will be, and how pumped he is. I haven't seen Lenny this excited since the release of the Paris Hilton porno on DVD....

Everything is being kept secret, which I think will enhance the entire experience for me, and I am TOTALLY looking forward to it. Therefore, I am constantly speculating as to what the hell is actually planned. Here's what I have come up with:

1) A Naked Lesbian Scrabble tournament.
2) A private concert by Flavor Flav, DMB, and Mini-Me.
3) Naked Lesbian Midget-tossing.
4) Food.
5) Beer.
6) Great Friends.
7) Naked Lesbians doing my laundry.
8) Throwing bologna at Beetlejuice's face.
9) Hanging out with Howard Stern at Scores.
10) Jessica and Ashlee Simpson. Naked. In a tub full of vanilla pudding.

After writing this comprehensive list, I decided to stop speculating...because as long as #6 comes to pass (which I know it will), that's all that matters to me. So....here's to all the beer we are gonna drink, all to food we are gonna eat......and all the hoes we is gonna see nekkid!

Sweet dreams of Jenna Jameson,

-B