INDIAN

Last night there was nothing on TV, so as I was flipping through the channels, I came across a movie called "Bend it Like Beckham." I had heard about the film, but hadn't ever seen it. Like I said, nothing else was on, and I was feeling UK-reminiscent, so I decided to give it a chance. I'm actually glad I did. For those who haven't seen it, it stars that indian chick ("Neelah") from ER and Keira Knightly, looking as boyish as ever. These girls basically play for a football (sorry, soccer) club in London. The indian girl's family forbids her from playing, but she rebels and plays behind their backs. Both girls get a full footie scholarship to an American college at the end of the film, and while at the airport saying goodbye, who do they see??? The man himself - David Beckham - and his wife Posh Spice, walking thru the airport. They took it as a sign of things to come. I took it as Beckham having to show his face to earn his paycheck. Oh, another cool part is that an actor from Eastenders, my favorite UK soap, is in the film as a gay indian. You don't get many gay indians, now do you?

This stuff was all well and good, but the best part, for me, as an inductee into the RVC Indian Club, was all of the scenes at an Indian wedding and the parties leading up to the wedding. I am, of course, being sarcastic, because I said to Angela as I was watching , "If I were at one of these weddings/parties, I would kill myself." There were like 4000 people crammed into a small room, dancing around to Punjabi MC and god knows what else. Perhaps if I were on ecstacy I would enjoy it, who knows. They showed scenes of all these old indian cronies jibbering away in hindi (?) and folding some sort of food into little triangles. There were turbans and gaudy jewelry and beards and sarees and curry everywhere. Hey, I like curry as much as the next guy, but so much of it in one room is a bit much even for Kashula (that's my given indian name, long live el presidante!).

All in all, not a bad way to spend 2 hours. I enjoyed the film and the british setting. Of course, gotta love the INDIAN-ness of it too. It made me wanna hop on a plane back to the UK for a Chili Raj Tikka Masala. It gave me a new-found respect for "Neelah" as she did a decent job, and it also further enforced my feelings of ZERO attraction to Keira Knightly - quit doing so many ab crunches, eat a fucking cheeseburger, then maybe you'll look like a GIRL.

I felt like putting on "Love Actually" but it was midnight, and I was sleepy.

With that, I shall now go outside and see if I, too, can bend it like Beckham. Whatever that means.

Peaceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,

-B