Sunday, April 16, 2006

Random Thoughts

Yesterday the weather was stunningly beautiful, so wifey and I went for a nice walk on the boardwalk and afterwards stopped at TCBY. I, of course, didn't get anything for fear of wasting my earlier treadmill session, but Angela got a kiddie-sized cup of heaven on earth - White Chocolate Mousse yogurt with Heath Bar topping. I had to sample it, obviously, to make sure it wasn't rotten or poisoned or anything...and it got me thinking - why the hell does everything that tastes SO good have to be SO bad for you?? WHY!??! What cruelty exists in this world! But then I started thinking that things like this are simply tests for us mortals. OK, by "us mortals," I obviously mean people (like me) with a weight problem. This is how I have managed to keep myself from eating this stuff - I look at each temptation as a challenge. I guess that is just my personality, I do not allow myself to think that anyone or anything is capable of bettering me. So...that tiny cup of 400 calorie delight is not allowed to have control over me - I can enjoy 2 little tastes of it and not be overwhelmed with desire to consume the entire supply of it in the Northeast. This is how I am different now than I used to be.

I love to BBQ. It is like the best thing ever. Its kinda weird too, because although I do enjoy eating BBQ'd food, that isn't why I like BBQing. I don't know why I enjoy it so much. Even in my heftier days, I would stand there and run the BBQ for hours at parties in the UK, and maybe eat a sausage or two. It never was about eating the product of my toils - maybe I just like cooking for people. I have no idea, but BBQing is awesome. Ya know what, maybe I just like FIRE. FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (Yelled in my best Beavis impersonation)

I have decided on running the 5K Race for Spinal Victory on Sunday, April 30th at Jones Beach. Be there or be square...or just wish me luck. That would be cool too.

I have this song "Incredible" by The Shapeshifters stuck in my head!!! It's a good song though.

You know what kind of annoys me? Now that Jamie Foxx played Ray Charles in a movie, he thinks he can sing. Kanye West didn't help matters by having him immitate Ray Charles in his "Gold Digger" song either. But now Jamie Foxx releases an album?!? What the hell?? He is crap.

Dammit, now "Gold Digger" is stuck in my head.

And now "Hips Don't Lie" by Shakira is stuck in my head. I HATE Shakira, she sounds like a constipated mexican man. And she looks like a monster too.

What kind of name is Jamie Foxx anyway?? Sounds like a porn star.

My old housemate Caroline emailed me saying I should write a book. I would consider it, but I don't know what I would write about or when I would write it. I also have a problem with editing - I used to write for my vet school's website, and I had to submit my articles to some dude and he would edit them. That pissed me off. I write shit the way I want it written, who the hell do people think they are to change my words?!? I think it is obvious that I also have a problem with authority. I don't like people telling me what to do - why should I listen to anyone else? What makes them think that I have to listen to them? OK, maybe I have to listen to my boss - he does pay the bills - but I hate having to listen to anyone. Of course, I also have zero desire to own my own place, hence the conflict. But, yeah, what should I write a book about? I don't think I am that interesting a person where anyone would want to read about ME. Maybe I can write a weight loss book for the average every day guy. Nah, that is pretty presumptuous that anyone would give a crap about my method for dropping poundage. I don't think I would write a very good novel though, because I feel that I write best from this perspective (i.e. my own), and a novel involves a lot of narrative. Unless of course I decide to revolutionize the entire genre and write a complete novel with no narration, just type and type and type, kinda like I am doing now, and hoping that something interesting will come out. Then again, what sort of fiction would I know enough to attempt a story on? UGH. I could go on like this for days. I guess I will just stick to the blog and being a vet. Who knows, maybe someday an idea for a book will strike me, and then Oprah will feature me. Maybe then I will get to meet Dave Matthews and the rest of the band. That would friggin' RULE.

DAMN James Herriot for writing all of those vet stories, I could have done that!

OK, I finally got all the songs out of my head now, so it is time for bed.

FLAVOR FLAAAAAAAAAAAV. Out.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Brian I get such a kick out of your writing! You would make a terrific writer you are unbelievable!!! So many talents and so modest to boot. Spoken by a true mom. (but it is so true) . I can't tell you enough how proud I am of you!

Anonymous said...

Brian, maybe you could write a novel centered on a vet who solves mysteries based on animal clues. For example, how you save the world based on a golden retriever with ringworm. But not just any ringworm. You discover it's a rare type of fungus only found in one part of the world, so why would a dog from Long Beach have it? You can now fill in the rest of the details.