April Fool

So, its April, and I have now entered the world of "new-jobness" again. I have been through this situation several times in my life, beginning as a camp counsellor when I was 12, continuing through the shopping cart gatherer at Caldor when I was 13, on through Burger King, McDonald's, Movie Theatre ticket taker, Starbucks barista/supervisor, Terry Animal Hospital associate, and now, finally, on to Crawford Dog and Cat Hospital. Each time I start a new job, it can be awkward at first, working with new folks, not quite comfortable enough to be myself yet, unsure how people will handle my humor, you know, that sort of thing. Luckily, I had spent a lot of time at Crawford while in vet school, so I know the majority of the people working there. So, it spared me the awkwardness of that, although I haven't quite had the balls to start burping out loud and singing out loud to the radio (often replacing the word "you" with "jew" because it is fun). I will get there.

But for now, my major area of "I-need-to-get-used-to-ness" is with the pace of the practice, the comprehensive nature of the place, the fact that the techs do SO much, and the fact that it is all computerized. In a nutshell, Crawford is much different - Terry AH was much faster paced, much higher volume of patients, not a lot of down-time at all. Along with that, sometimes, you aren't as thorough as you could be when you have 4 appointments stacked up waiting for you, barking in the waiting room and scaring the poor cats in their carriers. Where I am now, it is lower volume, but I feel higher quality of medicine - its not just "have a shot of this and that and let's see how it goes" anymore, now it is "let's get to the bottom of this problem without guessing." Very different.

Also, my new boss Keith is quite adventurous - not only does he attempt most any surgery that is feasible in our practice, but the guy is competing in an Iron Man race in November (for those of you who don't know what it is...it's fucking CRAZY - 2.4 mile swim, followed by a 112 mile bike ride, ending with a 26.2 mile marathon run. Yes, one after the other, all in the same day). This is contagious, obviously, to one as mental as myself. NO I am not signing up for an Iron Man, but you never know what he could talk me into attempting. So, yeah, we do cool surgeries. With LASER. That's right, a (my fingers do quote signals like Dr. Evil) LA-SER. Yeah baby.

The techs do EVERYTHING. I am talking EVERYTHING, they take the history for me, they enter all the notes into the computer, they work out medicine dosages, they place the IV, knock the pets out, take the xrays, do the dentistries, etc etc. I find myself wondering why the hell I am even there at times...oh, and speaking of computers, EVERYTHING is computerized, I haven't written a single word since I have been there. A bit of a change from 3x5 index cards.

So, so far, so good. All being well, as I am expecting it will be, I will never have to go through the "new-jobness" feeling again.

And now...your fix of my demon-child!

WEEEEEEEEEEE!

Getting ready for potty-time!

This is how we sit for probably 1/2 hour EVERY TIME. Even Ainsley looks bored.

Love it!

Eh?

Oh! :) My munchkin!

Pigtails.

It's Beach Weather!

Sandy!

Blueeeeeeee!

I KNOW!

Yes, YES already, I know it has been ages since my last post, but this time it was my computer's fault - all of my computers died at the same time (as well as my living room HDTV), so was left scrambling. My desktop's memory died and had to be sent back for replacements (still under warranty - YAY!), and my brand new 2-month old laptop's hard drive DIED, so I returned it to Costco and had to drive out to Walt Whitman Mall to buy a new Macbook (the Apple store at Roosevelt Field had closed that day for an entire month for renovations!)! LOVING the macbook by the way! Windows...NEVER AGAIN. Sent my TV back to the manufacturer for replacement (extended my warranty - YAY!), so still awaiting the arrival of either a fixed or brand new TV! YIPPEE!

Anyway, enough nagging, here's some god damn pictures already. :)

My future's so bright...I gotta wear shades.

Future supermodel?

Ella G and Grandpa playing with her farm, E-I-E-I-O.

Slip sliding away...

Slip sliding awa-a-a-ay!

Ahoy mateys!

Early fireman training.

I love it when she calls me Big Poppa.

Happy 3/17!

No Words

Tara's wake was yesterday. It was probably one of the most surreal sad experiences of my life - Tara's parents looked like robots. They were hugging everyone with absolutely no expressions on their faces. I am sure they were just in a complete state of shock. Rob, the older bro, was laughing alot, I am assuming it was his way of trying to deal with the severity of the situation. It was really really scary to see. Tracy, the oldest sister, was the only one i can say looked composed - and I am told she was dressed completely in Tara's clothes. At least Rob and Tracy knew who I was - I am sure their parents didn't recognize me. There were tons of people from LBHS there, most of them i was too dazed to notice or talk to. Just seeing the pictures of her all over, seeing her family in such a state, it just is hard to wrap your head around that someone so young is actually DEAD. It was truly an unreal day.

I think I pretty much know that people of all ages die - that isnt the shock...the shocking thing is it wasn't cancer or even a murder. It was someone I grew up with, a family I spent a lot of time with, and it was something totally absolutely preventable.That is the shock and the horrifying truth - that we are all mortal. Never really thought about that before.

The other thing that tears me up enough to break down as I write is watching that family suffer, and then coming home and looking at my perfect little girl sitting there. Tara was their perfect little girl 30 years ago. I could not fathom losing my baby, I don't know how I would go on living...and I can only imagine that 30 years worth of time makes that attachment even stronger, and I cannot fathom how they are feeling. Just the tiniest thought of Ella dying before me is enough to send me into insanity.

Today was the funeral. It was like a bizarre warped Harmon Street and Long Beach High School Class of 1994 reunion where noone was happy to see each other because noone was happy. It was the most horrifying and heartbreaking experience of my life. Seeing the family in absolute despair, watching all of the pallbearers in hysterics, one of them with a Billy's Beach Cafe t-shirt draped over his shoulder with a bunch of signatures on it (Tara's, I am presuming, being one of them), seeing that casket right next to me and knowing that inside of it was a 31 year old girl who I used to be very close to...it defies description. The ceremony was short and touching. The crowd was so large that they had the front doors open so people could watch from the street, and they also closed down Park Avenue.

I left feeling hollow inside. Again, I wondered as to why this was tearing me apart so deeply. I now think it is a combination of factors. I think it feels like a part of my childhood, a part of my innocence has been destroyed forever. Maybe it also has to do with the fact that my gym is right next to where Tara worked, and I knew that, and I never stopped in to say hi, even though I am there 3-4x a week. I will always think of her when I drive down the block to see my mom, and think of how I'll never see her again. Another reason, I think, is that I never knew Tara as an adult. I am pretty sure the last time we really spoke was high school. At the wake, there were a zillion photos of her lining the walls...she had the same smile I remember, but I didn't know her anymore. I didn't know any of her friends. I had nothing whatsoever to do with her adult life. And now I never will.

Ella has been getting an extraordinary amount of extra squeezes the past few days that she is fit to burst...today she got teary ones, and she looked at me and couldn't understand why. Someday I'll tell her, but for now I just put on "Go Diego Go" and watch her laugh and dance, and I know all will be right with the world.

This is the only picture I have of Tara, from our 1994 LBHS Yearbook. This is how I will always remember her.

This is what Tara wrote in the back of my yearbook - I have read it over and over since this afternoon, and the fountains of tears erupt every time. It is just classic Tara, completely describing our childhood and our relationship in a short paragraph. Now, in retrospect, it seems like a goodbye note, saying how she felt I would be successful and I shouldn't forget her. That I should stop by and see her sometime. And I should always be happy and always stay crazy. I promise you, Tara...I will ALWAYS stay crazy. And when the sadness of your leaving us fades, I will be happy again. I just hope your family will be able to regain some happiness in this life now that you aren't in it.

Rest In Peace, Old Friend

Why these things happen, I don't begin to try and comprehend, but tonight one of my old friends passed away. She was in a car accident very early this morning, and according to witnesses, only a miracle could have saved her - which, unfortunately, did not happen.

I hadn't seen Tara in years, at least 10. Doesn't make it any easier though. You know how you fall out of touch with people? And sometimes you happen to have flashbacks of the good times you had when you were younger, and you tell yourself "I should really stop by and say hi when I am on the block," but you never do, thinking that there's always tomorrow.

There isn't always tomorrow. Not for Tara, anyway.

We weren't the BEST of friends - I was probably closer to her older brother Rob than I was with her. But we were in the same grade throughout elementary, middle and high school. We had the same friends during our school days, and used to play Ringolevio and Ring n' Run at night in the summer time. We grew up together, then, as always happens, grew apart. No helping that.

But Tara never met my daughter, and now she never will. She hadn't seen me since I lost all my weight, and now she never will. She never met my wife, and now she never will. Because there is no tomorrow for her.

So, I guess the lesson here is the old cliche, "Life is too short." Kiss your wife/husband/significant other/daughter/son/cat/dog. Often. You can never tell someone "I Love You" enough. Who gets tired of hearing "I Love You?" Share and spread your love wide and far, and embrace all the love that is given to you. Cuz you never know when your next tomorrow may be your last.

Rest In Peace, Old Friend.

More!

Not much going on, but to satisfy the masses, here's some more pics:

The Dread Pirate Ella

Ella and Mommy at United Skates

Playing with some strange, cold, fluffy white powder.

Grandpa Marty and Ella

Stroller Strides

Today I accompanied my ladies to their weekly workout session, known as "Stroller Strides." I assumed that this consisted of a bunch of mommies and babies strolling around, chatting away, sucking down coffee and watching the babies play for a couple of hours before coming home and telling me how great of a workout it is. When Angela approached me a few weeks ago about a family session, where the daddies were also invited to attend, I told her I would come, thinking it would be a doddle around the mall where I would score some points and a lunch at Cheesecake Factory afterwards.

So, when I arose this morning, I was getting ready to go by putting on my jeans and t-shirt, when Angela tells me I need to wear workout clothes. "HA!" I scoffed! Me, the newly "athletic" guy, he who barely sweats during a 4 mile run, he who works out 4-5x a week, He-Man, need to wear workout clothes to Stroller Strides with a bunch of girls?? "COME ON!" I proclaim! "This is going to be a walk in the park, I don't need to wear workout clothes!"

"Yes, you do. I promise you will be sweating by the end of it."

"WHATEVER, I daresay I shant sweat a drop!" (note the british accent in my writing - I feel british today)

"You are not wearing jeans. NO JEANS!"

"Yes ma'am." I said, fully intending to do as I pleased anyway.

"I bet you that you will sweat during class today."

"You are on!"

"What are we betting for?"

"Lunch at the Cheesecake Factory!" (YES!)

So, I popped on my jogging pants and Thundercats T-shirt (a compromise - marriage is all about it!), and off we went.

I was sweating my balls off within 10 minutes.

These mommas do NOT mess around. The instructor had us trotting around, doing wall-sits, bicep curls, tricep extensions, squats, lunges, pushups and crunches....all while singing the alphabet song and "The Wheels On The Bus." I actually had to go into Old Navy and buy a t-shirt because I was sweating so badly, I didn't want to go to lunch smelling funky.

So, I hereby eat my words and pour much respect upon my wife and all of the Stroller Strides mommas.

Upside down, fully shaven smooch.

Attempting to engineer a new breed of rose - the Guinness Rose.

1-2-3-4-5...6-7-8...NINE!


Do YOUR ears hang low?

Yes!!! YES!!!!!!

OK OK OK

Yes, I KNOW, it has been a while since last writing - sometimes life just gets in the way of blogging - who knew? Anyways, since last writing, what has happened.....um, well, Ella pooped in her potty. I have booked my trip to Nate's wedding in Seattle. My TV is pissing me off, shooting red lines all over the screen. I owe $2800 in taxes this year. And Angela made a splendid whole wheat turkey lasagna for dinner tonight. YUM.Looking forward to a nice run tomorrow....indoors. Which is boring, but temperature controlled. It seems I am always running at the moment. People ask me if I like running. Do I enjoy the act of running? Not particularly, no. At this point, I have no choice but to run. It's like breathing: do I like breathing? Enjoy the act of inhaling and exhaling? Not particularly, but I have to do it. So, on that note....Ella!

Pigtails!...and hairy chest (UGH)!

Probably dancing to "Go Diego Go," her new obsession.

I cannot believe how big my little pumpkin is...

Yes, I am sleeping, and Ella is lounging, chillin' watching TV

Enjoying her new "hat."

"You lookin' at me, punk?"

Doing our best to wean her off that damn pacifier...

Fun with Grandma!

Fueling up before her first space voyage/moon walk.

Toddler

Tod·dler (tdlr) n.

1. One who toddles, especially a young child learning to walk.

2. A size of clothing for children between the ages of about one and three years.

Today we decided to change Ella's crib into a "toddler bed" which basically means we took the front of it off and installed a separate little thingy which has a much lower frame and a hole in the frame where Ella can come and go from her bed as she pleases. Not my idea, believe me. I had the pleasure of being the first to try and get her to go to sleep in her new toddler bed. Upon reaching bedtime, Ella happily ran into her room and closed the door, which had me thinking things might go quite smoothly. Well, she hopped into bed and flopped down. Super! Then she promptly sprung up and jumped out of bed and into my lap. Then back into bed. Then back into my lap. Over and over. For an hour.

"I am going to KILL Angela for suggesting this and then leaving me to deal with it myself!" I thought.

Finally, I just picked her up and told her to lay her head on my shoulder, which she did, and she fell asleep. I put her down in her "toddler bed" and all has been quiet since. That was about 2 hours ago...we'll see how it goes! I anticipate being woken up by Ella smacking me in the head at around 3 am, her all bright eyed and bushy tailed, myself again professing hatred for the suggestion of allowing her such freedom at such a tender young age. *SIGH* I guess we had to do it at some point.

OK, here's some photos/video.

Gymnast in the making?

Alexa and Ella eyeing up the same blue balloon


Ella settled for a white one.


A budding Sarah McLachlan fan.

*WARNING* - The following video is now officially the cutest thing ever. Just wanted to let you know before you indulge in its splendor.

Dr. Doolittle?

January Beach Day?

As the unseasonably warm weather creeps its way to the area, we decided to take Ella for a walk on the beach. Below are the cutest pics/video ever of us frolicking around, and Ella showing mad love for her mom and pops. Tomorrow I am heading out for a nice leisurely hour long run on the boardwalk in 50 degree weather. Tuesday is meant to hit 60! Greenhouse effect anyone?

Obligatory posed shot with daddy...

...and with mommy.

Soccer! With a pink ball! Yippee!

More soccer fun!

Showing love for pops.

And for mom. Look at that sly eye on her...!



How could I resist some video of the frolicking?

Happy New Year!!!

Welcome to the first post of 2008! Today we got up, did the usual morning routine (i.e. Angela up with Ella, Daddy asleep until Ella walks in and starts smacking him in the head saying "Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi." It's like a cartoon or something.), I hit the gym for a while, and then we had a nap!! By "we" I mean all 5 of us (Ella, Angela, Ainsley, Silvio and I). It was AWESOME. Then we got up, went and saw Susan and Dave and finally met their adorable daughter Eden. Pictures attached! We went straight from there over to Dr. Niesenbaum's place for a New Year's Day Party, where we overindulged in delightful food. Ella behaved exceedingly well, probably because of the presence of doggies at both venues. We headed home, got Ella bathed and in bed, then watched the newest installment of Biggest Loser (couples edition!). All in all, a superb way to start the new year. Here's hoping that 2008 is filled with happiness and wonder for all of us - appreciate each day, because no matter what...life is beautiful.

Suzie and Eden

Look! How friggin' cute! I think she looks exactly like Susan's mom.

Angela, Ella and my nephew, Joey. The best dog EVER.

Eden, meet Ella. Ella, say hi to Eden.